MAGA: a one act, all American play

I crack myself up and needed to save this.

DJT at Nightly Coronavirus National Update: [I]Walks out, nods to everyone. Waits dramatically for silence. Finally everyone is quiet.
[/I]
DJT: [I]Shits his pants. On camera. It is prolonged and noisy. Journalists begin yelling and coughing. Dr. Birx delicately wipes her eyes with her scarf and blinks repeatedly. Dr. Fauci covers his face with both hands, but his shoulders are shaking- is it laughter? Sobbing?[/I]

Washington Post: This just in, Trump has just shit his pants on national TV.

WH: "Rumors President DJTrump shit his pants are absolutely untrue."

DJT: [I]Brags about shitting his pants on Twitter.[/I]: “I made a boom boom today. It was a big, beautiful boom boom. People are saying it’s the Best they’ve ever seen. It’s true you know and some people are saying that it couldn’t be done. They say it couldn’t be done. But I did it I made this huge beautiful boom boom all by myself. It's one of a kind. I think I have a natural talent for this. Noble prize worthy! Feh Fay... FEFF Seff uh Hyde....!”

WH: "President Trump did not shit his pants on TV, and this is just another Liberal attack on the President."

DJT: I shit my pants on TV. It was the best shit anyone has ever taken, many people are saying it.

DJT Supporters: Trump didn't shit his pants. I can't believe anyone would believe that. The Media is just Awful.

DJT: I totally shit my pants. And my underpants.

DJT Supporters: He didn't say he shit his pants! He said, he shit his UNDERpants! Anyone who says different is a lying Communist!

DJT: Yeah, I shit my pants, but I was doing it sarcastically.

FOX: Did You Know That Joe Biden Actually Shit OTHER People's Pants? Stay Tuned After This Important Message From My Pillow!

DJT: Yes, I shit my pants, but it was so you fake news terrible reporters have to smell it.

DJT Supporters: It was a sarcastic shit, the fake news media and the Libtards totally fell for it!

CNN: Mr. President, You said you shit your pants so we would have to smell it. Why?

DJT: I did not say I shit my pants! Such a nasty question! You are fake news! I'm President and you're not!

CNN: Uhhh...Let's review the tapes again...

DJT Supporters: Typical liberal fake news media. Have they ever reported all the times Trump hasn’t shit his pants?

FOX: Obama and Hilary BOTH shit their pants multiple times as toddlers, they did it ALL THE TIME and nobody talks about it. Fake news!

DJT Supporters: [I]Storming City Halls and Capitol buildings everywhere, carrying signs and waving assault weapons, then shitting their pants right there on cameras, shouting about how Trump is best pants shitter! And it's Our God Given Right to Shit Our Own Damned Pants! Cops stand around looking Important. Some have teary eyes from the smell, but just squint a little because they're Trained and Tough.[/I]

Liberals: [I]Post videos of DJT's original shit, and videos of his contrary statements afterward.[/I] See?!? Do you see what's happening?!?

DJT Supporters: [I][wiping shit everywhere, even on their faces][/I] Did you just say you wanted us to Eat Shit?!? You better watch out because Me and Mr. Glock just bought All the Ammo, you Dirty Commie Libtard!

[I][B]Fin[/B][/I]

"Black is White, 2+2=5, War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Ignorance is Strength."

There are two kinds of Republicans: rich ones and stupid ones. The rich ones keep the stupid ones stupid, and the stupid ones keep the rich ones rich.