[spaceman]

Billy & Tommy saw an ad in the Kentville Advertiser Newspaper in Kentville , N.S. and bought a mule for $100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day.
The following morning the farmer drove up, and said: "Sorry, fellers, I have some bad news for you, the mule died last night."
Billy & Tommy replied; "Well then, just give us our money back."
The farmer said; " Can't do that...I went and spent it already."
They said; "Okay then, just bring us the dead mule."
The farmer asked; "What in the world ya'll gonna do with a dead mule?"

Tommy said; "We gonn'a raffle him off."
The farmer said; "You can't raffle off a dead mule!"
Billy said; "We shore can! Heck, we don't hafta tell nobody he's dead!"

A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Billy & Tommy at Save Easy store and asked: "Say...what'd you fellers ever do with that dead mule?"
Tommy, said; "We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonn'a do."
Billy added; "Shucks, we sold 500 tickets fer two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898."
The farmer said; "My Lord, didn't anyone complain...?"
Tommy said; "Well, the feller who won was really upset. So we gave him his two dollars back."

Billy and Tommy now work for the government.
They're overseeing the investigation of the Senate and the spending scandal.

[spaceman]

She walked up and tied her old mule to the hitch rail. As she stood there, brushing some of the

dust from her face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one

hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.



The young gunslinger looked at the old woman and laughed, saying, "Hey Old WOMAN, have you ever danced?"



The old woman looked up at the gun slinder and said, “No, I never did dance…never really wanted to.”



A crowd had gathered as the gunslinder grinned and said, "Well, you old bag, you’re gonna dance now,” and started shooting at the woman’s feet.



The old woman prospector – not wanting to get her toe blown off – started hopping around. Everybody was laughing. When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered, his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.



The old woman turned to her pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air. The crowd stopped laughing immediately.



The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old woman and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.



The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old woman’s hands, as she quietly said, “Son, have you ever licked a mule’s butt? The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, “No Mam…but…I’ve always wanted to.”



THERE ARE A FEW LESSONS FOR US ALL HERE:

1 - Never be arrogant.

2 - Don't waste ammunition.

3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.

4 - Always, always make sure you know who has the power.

5 - Don't mess with old women; they didn't get old by being stupid.

[galipeau]

Originally Posted by Mr. Wilson

later that night............
https://www.youtube.com/watch?featur...&v=J1JnKoH_5XE

THIS.....

Probably the most amazing thing ever. Dwarf Rocky was a close second! I think the one Dwarf's name was Mini Pacquiao.

[flash5153]

Don't take this kids bacon!!

http://youtu.be/2T_obaO46Bo

[Spimp13]

Balls....yes....brains....uh maybe not so much

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=464740040253121

[Apocalypse2017]

[Atlatlien]

#3 might want to re-think her signature...

[Spimp13]

Words of wisdom here... Never hog all the vajayjay in a threesome.

[Spimp13]

I can relate to this one

[jburkm002]

Teacher asks the class " can anyone use fascinate in a sentence"
Up goes little Johnnys hand.
The teacher is worried but figures what harm could little Johnny do with a word like fascinate.
So she say OK Johnny please use fascinate in a proper sentence.
Little Johnny stands up looking all innocent and smiling
He say " my sister got a sweater for Christmas and it had 12 buttons


But her tits were so big she could only fascinate"

Gotta love kids

[PINKLADY]

Originally Posted by Black-Balled

it's funny, cause it's true -

[PINKLADY]

Originally Posted by Atlatlien

NSFW Language: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PObvnI_U1qU

i can't give you more rep!

[Black-Balled]

[Black-Balled]

[Black-Balled]